Pre-Fontan Heart Cath

It's been almost 4 years since Jack's last surgery. Everything has changed so much that when we look back on that time in the hospital, it almost doesn't even feel real anymore. We've known for a long time that this spring was going to be the time for Jack's next surgery. It's been a dark cloud looming over our heads for years, but its always been so far into the future that it felt like we had plenty of time.

The last time we saw Dr. Law for Jack's 6-month check-up he said that everything looked good and asked us if we were ready to start talking about scheduling his next surgery. With Jack's heart doing so good after his last surgery, there was never any immediate need for him to have his next one so it was always pretty much left up to us. We could decide when it was best for our family. Of course, I always wanted Dr. Law to just tell us what he thought was best. Eventually, after a lot of talking, praying, and waiting we decided that this coming summer would be best. That way he will have plenty of time to recover and get back to his normal self before he starts to kindergarten next year. 

Dr. Law told us that we would schedule his cath for February and then surgery around the end of May so that I could be home with him for the entire summer during his recovery. 

We got the call to schedule about two months ago. February 17th. It was on a Wednesday. Then, while I was in Disney World with the cheerleaders I got the prep call. That's the call where they tell you all about what to expect, when he can eat and drink, what to bring, etc. That's when it started to feel really real. 

The week leading up to the procedure was full of fear, extra kisses, long talks, and tears. (All of the tears and fear came from Mommy, Jack was always brave and ready.) We talked to Jack a lot about the upcoming procedure. We never want him to be taken by surprise when we walk into a hospital and hand him to strangers. We want him to understand whats happening and why. We explained as much as we could both about his extra special heart and what was going to happen when we went to the hospital. He was excited because we told him he would get lots of "prizes" when he woke up from surgery. We prayed with him and for him a thousand times. We listened to his sweet voice pray for himself. 

The night before the procedure we took Harrison to Nonna's for a sleepover. We were going to have to be at the hospital very early the next morning so we decided it was best if baby brother spent the night with Nonna so we didn't have to get him up early and out in the cold. Once we dropped him off we took Jack to his favorite place to eat- Cabo. He was wild and silly and sweet as always. We talked some more about surgery and prayed over him together before he fell asleep.

The next morning we woke our sleepy boy up and drove to Children's. They told us to pack an overnight bag just in case and Jack filled half of our suitcase with toys. When we got there they checked us in and put us in a room. Two very sweet nurses came in and explained what was going to happen and then Dr. Law came in and talked to us about the procedure and what he was going to do. He explained the risks. Then he said they would go back in about half an hour. Just after he left our family came in.Then the nurses came in to give Jack a dose of Versed and Tylenol. Little did we know at that time that giving him that medicine would be the worst part of the day. It took all four of us (two nurses and me and Josh) to hold him down and force the medicine down. He HATED it. Once they got the versed in they told him the tylenol would be "yummy". When they started to force the Tylenol in he loudly informed them that it was in fact "NOT YUMMY!!" ;) 

Once that part was over we picked him up and loved on him. Then the nurse practitioner came in to ask questions for his chart. It was about 4 minutes after the medicine went down when Jack's little head started to slide backward off of Josh's shoulder. He literally couldn't hold his own head up. Then he started to giggle. Silly giggles that I had never heard before. He was drunk as a skunk. We all laughed at him until we cried. He got drunker as the minutes passed and by the time the nurse practitioner left our room he was slurring his words and dropping every toy he tried to pick up. It was a much-needed moment of relief from the tension and stress where we all just watched him and laughed. 

At around 7:30 a group of  nurses came in to tell us it was time. Our family walked out to the waiting room and Josh carried Jack as they wheeled his empty bed back to the OR. When we got to the door- that was as far as we could go- they said it was time for us to hand him over. He was still very drunk and sleepy eyed but he looked up and reached for me. I grabbed his little limp hand and told him I loved him and would see him soon. Josh handed him to a very tiny doctor who could barely hold the weight of his limp-noodle body. They went around the corner and the doors closed behind them. I cried for a while in the hallway and then we went and sat in his room by ourselves for a few minutes while I got myself together. 

Then we went to meet our family in the waiting room where we spent the next 3+ hours. We sat and sat and sat. Finally, after what felt like years, the nurse came out and said that me and Josh could go back now. We waited in his room and Dr. Law came in. He said that everything looked great. He was all smiles. He said Jack did really well and was resting in recovery now. He said they did have to coil one collateral vessel. But other than that it went well and Jack's heart was looking exceptionally good for his particular CHD. He said we had the official green light to move forward with the Fontan. 

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{Collateral vessels are abnormal blood vessels that connect the aorta with the pulmonary arteries. The aorta is a blood vessel that carries blood from the heart to arteries throughout the body. Pulmonary arteries are the vessels that transfer blood from the heart back to the lungs for oxygen.

Everyone has collateral vessels, but they're normally small and not in use. They become enlarged in some people with congenital heart disease (heart disease that's present since birth). When a collateral vessel enlarges, it may let blood flow from an artery to an adjacent artery or it may carry blood downstream and then back to the same artery.

Collateral vessels can make the heart work harder and in some cases should be closed. These vessels can cause other medical conditions, such as myocardial ischemia, an insufficient blood supply to the middle muscular layer of the heart wall; congestive heart failure or the weakening of the heart; endocarditis, an infection of the heart's inner lining; stroke, caused by a lack of blood to the brain; and aneurysms, which are bulging or ballooning of a blood vessel wall. Collateral vessels affect children and adults and can be a congenital or acquired heart defect.

Cardiologist will often close collateral vessels as a interventional method to close venovenous fistulas, venocameral fistulas, coronary-cameral fistulas, aortopulmonary collateral vessels and more. Specialists in our Pediatric Cardiac Catheterization Laboratory close collateral vessels using a non-surgical procedure, called cardiac catheterization, and specially designed metal coils and plugs. The vessel closure takes about two and a half hours. In most cases, patients go home the same day as the procedure.

During cardiac catheterization a doctor inserts thin, flexible tubes called catheters into a vein in the leg or neck and threads them through the vein to the heart. Once in the heart, the catheters are used as conduits to place small metal coils or plugs in the collateral vessels. The coil causes a blood clot to form and close the vessel. Over time, tissue grows around the coil, forming a permanent seal.}

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Josh and I wanted in Jack's room around half an hour until a nurse finally came in and said that he was doing really great in recovery. She said he was awake and happy and was eating a purple popcicle. It was another 20 minutes or so until they wheeled him out of recovery and back to us. He was awake and happy to see us. He was still eating his popcicle. He looked so good. They told us he had to lie flat for 6 hours but that the procedure had gone so well that when the 6 hours was up we could take him home. :)

Josh went and got our family and they all came in to see him and bring him TONS of prizes. He got toys and books and puzzles and games. He was happy. He never once complained. The nurses came in and out taking his vitals and  looking at his dressings. He was patient and brave. They came in to do an x-ray and said we had to leave the room. I stood outside the door and watched as he did every single thing they told him to do. He was so big. 

We got to look at the x-ray and see the coil. It's HUGE. His little heart is so small and the coil looked giant in comparison but I know that it was necessary and will help his heart so I just had to accept it as a good thing. It will help Jack get the blood flow that he needs. 

We really didn't think that Jack would lie flat even for one hour but he laid on that bed like a champion for SIX SOLID HOURS! We played with him and read to him and he watched Youtube videos. Time went by quickly. The crazy part was that he hated lying there. It wasn't like he was lying flat because he was satisfied. He didn't like it but he was so big and so mature that he knew he had to so he just did.

Where did my baby go? When did I get this big boy that lets doctors poke on him and lies flat just because we told him to? No tears all evening. Brave doesn't even begin to cover it. The only explanation for it was God. He was there and He made a way. And we could not be more thankful. 

As always, a million thanks to everyone who lifted him (and us) up in prayer that day. We felt calm and peace and knew that God was answering the prayers of a multitude and we are forever grateful.

Trading Fear for Peace

Peace.  

Peace is something that we all take for granted until we need it. When we need it, peace can be hard to come by. I see people that I love struggling to find peace in their lives and I know that my heart knows the magnitude of its value more than most. 

With Jack's next surgery just around the corner, I've been struggling lately to find peace. Everyone tells me that its natural to be scared after what we went through last time. Jack's Glenn surgery didn't go as planned. It was, by far, the scariest time of our lives. There were moments when we didn't know if we were going to get to bring our baby home. He got so sick. His heart didn't respond like other kids' hearts usually do. And he was just a baby then. 

This time around he's four years old. A little person. He's got his own, larger-than-life personality.  He's wild and fearless and spoiled rotten. He loves to play and watch videos on youtube. He LOVES his baby brother. He's simply wonderful. He fills our days with joy and laughter and I honestly don't know who or where we would be without him. 

All of that just makes this time around that much harder. This time I'm not just scared of surgery. Don't get me wrong. I'm very scared of surgery. More scared than I could possibly express. But there is an additional element this time that we didn't have to deal with last time. This time he's not just a baby. He's our little boy. And how do we even begin to tell him what he is about to face? He is about to experience more pain and more fear than most experience in a lifetime. And nothing about that is fair. 

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One thing I learned about life the day that my son was born is that life is just not fair sometimes. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason. Sometimes you just have to give it to God and know that even though He doesn't want the pain for us, He can still use it to make us into what He created us to be. Because there is one thing I know for sure... God does not want us to be afraid. 

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  -John 16:33

Fear is a part of our human nature. But that doesn't mean that we should allow ourselves to succumb to it. Part of our journey as Christians is to submit to Him daily, even when we don't know His plan. Even when His plan might not line up with our plan. His word says He will never leave us or forsake us. That means that He is always with us. He's with us in the darkest moments. He's with us on the brightest days. Always is always. 

God doesn't say that we might possibly have trouble. He says that we WILL have trouble. Sin turned God's perfect creation into a fallen world and because of that, we all experience trouble from time to time. Regardless of the trouble that we face though, we know that God can pour peace into our spirits if we will only allow Him to do so. 

Now let me just tell you... I can hold onto my fears just as tightly as the next person. Believe me. There are nights where I just want to cry all night. I just want to let it out and embrace the darkness. It is what our human nature tells us to do. Cry. Feel sorry for yourself. You don't deserve this. And I would be lying if I told you that I don't do it. I give in. I cry. I get crazy and have anxiety attacks and my poor, sweet husband has to calm me down and remind me to breathe again. But that is not the way that God wants us to handle our fear. He doesn't want us to let fear have our hearts. He wants us to give our fear to Him and let Him exchange it for peace. 

Sounds easy, right? Here God. You take this awful situation and give me peace and tell me that it's all going to be fine and I'll just go on with my life like it isn't happening. 

Nope. That's just denial. I do that sometimes too. 

Exchanging fear for peace is much more than just pretending like your fear isn't there. It's truly learning to trust God to handle the situation. And it's hard. 

Exchanging fear for peace is hard because it takes time and work. You have to dedicate yourself to God's Word and to prayer and you have to be vulnerable to Him and His will for your life. You have to relinquish control. And anyone who knows me at all knows that I am not good at giving up control of anything. In fact, I would venture to say that my friends and family would probably call me a control freak. So giving God complete control is always a work in progress. And I mess it up and take my fears back all the time. I'm certainly no example to follow in this area. It's something I'm working on though. It's something God is working on within me. And I'm thankful for the lessons, though they are difficult ones to learn. 


"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble." -Psalm 46:1

God's plan is already in place. He already sees the light on the other side of the darkness that stands in front of us. And He stands between the darkness and us and He shields us because He is our refuge. He pours His strength into our veins and breathes His peace into our hearts as we walk through to the other side. Then He heals the wounds that are left and leaves us only with scars that remind us who we once were and how far He has brought us. 

2016, because time just never stops.

2015 was one of the most extraordinarily blessed years of my life. I got to welcome another amazing, wonderful, perfect little boy into the world. Harrison Asher Odom was born on July 3rd and has completely changed our world in the most wonderful way. We also bought our new home this year and did lots of other really great stuff. We are so thankful for God's many blessings in our lives.

So here we are. At the beginning of a new year and the road ahead is going to be a little different this time around. Two big things are coming up for me and my family this year...

So first of all...

I officially resigned as the varsity cheer coach at Curry. At the end of this school year I will be passing the torch along to someone else. I was going to wait until we got back from Disney and our official cheer year ended to share the news but word has gotten out and several people have already asked me about it and I wanted to make sure that I got the opportunity to explain my decision before the unavoidable speculation began. This decision came after much prayer and serious consideration but it came down to the overwhelming time commitment and with Jack's surgery coming up and Harrison growing like a weed before our very eyes, the timing is right and God has granted me and Josh the peace we prayed for concerning this major life changing decision. I will continue teaching science at CHS and doing all of the other stuff I do and I will help the new cheer coach in any way that I can.

Over the past 3 years I have had the blessed opportunity to watch a group of beautiful and talented girls grow into strong and independent young ladies and I have no doubt that they are going to take the world by storm wherever the Lord leads them. They have filled my life with so much laughter and joy over the past 3 years. Together we have made memories that will live on for years to come. I can only hope that they know how much they mean to me and the impact that they have had on my life. God placed me in this position for a reason and I pray that I did what He called me to do, which was so much more than just winning titles.

I'm thankful for all of the love and support that I have been shown over the past 3 years as I learned how to navigate this truly difficult job. Cheer is so much more than most people could ever even begin to imagine. And I undeniably loved almost every minute of it! Through all of the teenage drama, endless ballgames, injuries and sicknesses, victories and defeats, one thing never changed... we were a team and we were in it together.

To the girls and their parents, my co-workers and administration, the students of CHS, the community of Curry, UCA and Varsity-- Thank you. This has been an incredible journey for which I will always be thankful. I will never forget this time period in my life and I am forever grateful for all of those who supported, loved, and encouraged me along the way.

We're going to end our time together in style.. At the UCA National High School Cheerleading Championship in Disney World. We leave 3 weeks from today. And I have no doubt that my girls are going to give the world one last big reminder of who they are and what they can do. I can't wait to watch them take those mats. They've worked all year for this one moment and they are going to be amazing, I have no doubt. And I'm thankful that I get that one last opportunity to spend time with them in the happiest place on earth.

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Then, of course... There is the cath.


33 days. We have 33 days until we have to hand our boy over for the first step of a two-step process. On February 17th Jack will undergo his third heart cath. They will put him to sleep and then go in through the groin and up into his heart to look around and decide for sure the path that they need to take for his upcoming surgery.

33 days feels like an eternity. 33 days to live every waking second with only one real thought in my head- my baby on that table. Its just shy of too much to handle.

Over the next 33 days we will work our way through the explanation and preparation process. We want Jack to understand as much as his sweet little 4 year old mind can understand about what is going on and why this is happening to him. We want him to feel ready, strong, and brave. We are praying that God will equip him with all of those things and more when the time comes. Our faith is strong and we are ready to face it. As ready as we will ever be.

If all goes according to plan, and that is a big IF because it did not go as planned for us last time, then we will be scheduling surgery for right after I get out of school so that I can have the entire summer to be home with him for recovery.

We are praying for a completely and totally different experience this time around. Anyone who kept up with our story last time knows that Jack had a very difficult time  with his Glenn surgery. He didn't respond as most kids do to the new blood flow and his sats stayed dangerously low for nearly a month. We watched our son grow sicker and weaker for almost a month in the CICU until God gave us the miracle that we had been waiting for. And as they say, the rest is history. It is, however, a history that our hearts will never forget. And this is one of the most compelling causes for our deep seated anxiety as we move into round 2.

That being said, let me be clear about one thing. I KNOW the God that we serve is bigger than CHD. My fears are human fears. I'm a mom. My world revolves around my boys. BUT my faith is in the Lord and I know that He will provide. He has constantly been pouring His grace over me and my family as we have walked through this journey and I know that these coming months He will continue to do so.

This time we are facing a completely different situation. Our son is not a baby anymore. He's a little boy. Full of fire and life. He is, I'm quite certain, the smartest 4 year old on the planet. He doesn't miss a thing. And he will be completely aware of all that is happening to him this time. Only, he's not old enough to understand why. Actually, I still don't understand why. I know that God has a why and He will tell me someday but for now we just have to keep on trusting in Him and His plan for our earthly future. And at the end of the day, no matter the struggles and no matter the pain, our God will provide.

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4: 6-7

At the end of this year my family and I are going to go to Disney World. It will be Jack's third trip and Harrison's first. We, of course, can't wait. We love Disney. Like, a lot. And when we get there I can't wait to look back on this year and know that all of it is over. The cath, the surgery, the fear, the struggle. It will be over. And we're going to celebrate with Mickey and some magic. As for what happens after that... that will just be for God to decide. And He has taken good care of us so far so I feel pretty good about Him being in the driver's seat.

Bringing Home Baby Brother

At 8:53am on Friday, July 3rd, 2015 a cry rang out in a cold, white room as Harrison Asher Odom took his first breath.

The morning had been hectic. I didn't get any sleep and had to get up super early to get myself, my family, and all of my stuff ready and loaded up to go bring another person into the world. In the weeks leading up to Harrison's birthday I realized how different this experience was going to be than it was when Jack was born. We have been assured (after MUCH testing) that this baby was going to come out healthy and happy. This meant an entirely different experience awaited us. I'm thankful for my go-to new-mom best friend, Morgan, who patiently answered every single question that I had about what to pack and what to expect.

After wayyy too much thinking and stressing, I packed, we loaded up, and we headed to the hospital. We managed to get all of our stuff, including our sleepy and grumpy toddler up to the room. The nurses immediately told me to get into my gown and we would get started. Just like that. It's baby time.

They started with lots of questions, a painful IV, weird and uncomfortable pressure socks, really yucky tasting liquid medicine, and even more questions. I was SO blessed to have my life-long best friend's precious momma, Cindy to be my nurse. She was amazing and just like having my own mom there with me through it all.

After we got all of that pre-op stuff out of the way, we just started waiting. Surgery was scheduled for 8:00 sharp. For the next hour and a half lots of family shuffled through to give me their blessings before I went into surgery. Jack was in and out with different family members, not sure what to think about Mommy in the hospital bed.

My precious friend Megan came in about an hour before surgery. She was there as our birth photographer (and WOW! She was amazing! More about that to come…). Josh and Megan got all decked out in their sterile surgery gear before we went back to the OR. When it was time I asked if I could pee one more time and then I got wrapped up in my blankets and walked to the OR with Cindy.

When we got in there it was time for my spinal. This is a seriously scary part for me. I had no issues whatsoever with Jack so I knew it would be fine but still, scary nonetheless. I immediately started shaking… More from the nerves than from the actual cold but it WAS seriously cold in there. But, hey. This wasn't my first rodeo so no surprises and not-so-scary so far. I hopped up onto the table with my gown draped around me. Cindy stood in front of me for comfort. The absolutely precious anesthesiologist got started with the numbing shot first. Not fun but not unbearable. Then the big needle. I survived. Then the weird onset of numbness climbing up my body. A completely indescribable feeling. Then I was on my back being prepped for surgery.

At that point it was lots of nurses shuffling around doing prep work. They would speak to me from time to time and speak to each other. I just laid there anticipating the first cry of my new baby boy. What was he going to look like? Blonde hair or red hair like Jack... or no hair at all? Was he going to be a 12 pounder?

After all the prep work was done, one of my favorite people on the planet came into the room and loved on me. Her sweet words and warm smile brought me comfort in one of those 'Someone is about to cut my body open and pull a human out' moments. She was my doctor- the one who was gonna do the cutting and the baby pulling. But more importantly, she was my friend. And what a blessing it was to have her play such an important role on such an important day in my life. I'm forever grateful to her for choosing to be there with me on that day.

Baby time.

Josh and Megan were brought back in and Josh sat on the left side of my head while Megan walked quietly around the room doing her fabulous photog-ing. It was time and I was ready. I was fuzzy brained so I don't remember every detail but I do remember this...

Cindy- "Crystal!! He has a head FULL of dark hair!"
Me- "Are you serious?"

The whole time I was pregnant people asked me this question... Do you think he will have blonde hair or red hair like Jack? No one, including myself, gave this kid a chance of having dark hair. Not to mention that Jack was quite bald. So we were expecting little to no hair at all. But we would soon find out that our little H... He's his own little person. Not much like his brother at all. And it started with that head full of dark brown hair.

Before we knew it he was out, Tal was holding him up so I could see him. And he was absolute perfection. Then he was off to be cleaned up.

7pounds and 10 ounces. 19 and a quarter inches long.

Perfect sats. Yay.

Then they handed him to Josh and my foggy brain watched them walk out of the cold white room.

As soon as they left I realized how cold I was. The excitement was over. Now it was time to put me back together... and I was all alone. It felt like it took an eternity. I wanted my baby. I wanted my husband to hold my hand. My foggy brain was confused about why they left and where they were going.

I shook hard while they worked hard to close me back up. My teeth chattered and I was nauseated and my body and my brain felt weird. My shoulder hurt for some reason. I still don't know why. I prayed. I missed my family. I cried. I was glad that Talia and Cindy were in there with me. They checked on me from time to time and Tal told the anesthesiologist that I was probably nauseated and wouldn't tell her if I was. She was right. So they gave me medicine that helped. Then I was just cold again.

When they finally finished they put 1000 warm blankets on me but I kept on shaking. Cindy said its because the inside of my body was cold too. I couldn't think straight because of all of the shaking. Then they moved me over to my bed and wheeled me to my recovery room.

Then, finally... my family.

Now, I have to be honest... The whole rest of that first day is just a complete blur. I remember all of the people coming in and out but I don't remember any specifics. They gave me a pain pump. Cindy came in to tell me that if I press the button every time it lights up there won't be enough medicine left at the end of each hour.

--As soon as the feeling starts to come back it hurts. It hurts worse than anything you've ever felt in your whole life. And you don't want to move an inch. And you press the button because it helps with the pain but it also puts more fog into your brain.--

I fought to stay awake for the rest of the day to see all of the people who came to see me and H. One by one they cuddled my new sweet boy. He was perfect.

Jack came in with Josh and he looked at H like he was maybe an alien and maybe I was too because I was all hooked up to monitors and still in that scary hospital bed. But he eventually climbed up with me and cuddled me and he sat in a chair with his daddy and they looked at H together and touched his head before he had to run off and have more fun with all of the visitors and the presents they brought him.

The nurses said that I could get up at breakfast time in the morning. This was one of the biggest differences in my birth experiences. With Jack I was up within an hour of coming out of surgery. This time it was slow and steady. And I was miserable. I was sweaty and yucky and hot and had way too much stuff hooked to me. I couldn't deal with it any longer and at 4am I made Josh go get the nurse to come set me free. One by one she unhooked and disconnected me until I was completely free. Then it was time to sit up.

This was the moment I had dreaded since the day that I found out H was on the way. Josh got on one side of me and the nurse got on the other. I braced myself and then slowly started lifting forward. I got almost all the way up before I let go and crashed back down. I took a second and a big deep breath and then tried again. This time I got all the way up on the edge of the bed. Then it was time to stand. It took work and tears but I did it.

Then I did something crazy. I took a shower. By myself. I almost passed out at one point but I didn't so all things considered... I was pretty impressed with myself. I even put on make up and fixed my hair. Crazy right? As it turns out I think I was still just really heavily drugged because I didn't put on make-up again for like at least a week after that.

By the time I was out of the shower my little nugget was ready to nurse and then cuddle.

The next two days we had constant visitors. Harrison was passed around and cuddled and loved on. I cuddled him and soaked him in every second that someone else wasn't holding him. Jack came in and out with our parents. He held H in a chair and had his picture made. He climbed on my bed and danced around the room and played big and then left to go on more grandparent adventures while Mommy and H were still in the hospital.

Those two days were two of the sweetest days of my life. I felt like the most blessed person who has ever lived. I had been given everything I've ever wanted. I just soaked it all in and thanked God for these glorious blessings. I prayed over my boys and learned every nook and cranny of this new little face. I kissed him a million times. I loved him so much and it was brand new but I couldn't remember a time when I didn't love him. My heart was so full.

On the morning that H and I were to be discharged I woke up with a terrible headache. I am not one to get headaches so I assumed it was because I had been in the bed for 3 days. I took a shower before they brought my morning meds. That was a mistake. The headache got so bad that I blacked out in the shower. I got out and got dressed and when I started crying my mom called for the nurse. She came in and laid my bed all the way back and said that I had a spinal headache. She told me to drink lots of caffeine and lay flat on my back. It helped. They said that if it didn't go away in a couple of days I would have to come have a procedure done to make it go away. It didn't sound fun so I decided that I could just deal with the headache.

Then, me and H got dressed and ready to go. Josh loaded up the car and they wheeled me and H out of the hospital. We arrived at our house about 2 minutes later. That was the BEST part of living one mile from the hospital.

The reality set in shortly after we arrived home. Moving around was hard. Getting up and down was even harder. And we had a toddler who had missed us for 3 days and needed out attention and love. H was eating at least every 2 hours at that point and we were struggling a little bit with nursing. The hospital high was over and it was time to start this new chapter of our lives.

We survived the first day at home. I decided to sleep in the chair in the livingroom and we put Harrison's cradle next to my chair. The first few nights were hard. I was trying to heal from the surgery while getting up and down all night with a new baby who wasn't a fan of sleeping at night.

 Then on the third day that we were home I woke up with Bell's Palsy. I had never even heard of it so needless to say, it scared me. I called Morgan who called her mom who then called me and talked me down off the edge of a total breakdown. I was crying so hard that I couldn't even make words to explain what was happening. I got it out though and she reassured me that it sounded like Bell's Palsy and that it would go away. I made an appointment with Talia and later that day she then confirmed that it was BP and prescribed me the medicine I needed to help it go away quicker. It lasted for about a week and then started to slowly fade. It took a good 2-3 weeks to go away completely.

H checked out healthy and happy at his one month appointment with Dr. Farr. He weighed in at 7 pounds and 8 ounces. He was eating better and just so stinking cute.

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Day after tomorrow will be my sweet little guy's three month birthday. Time flies.

We've gotten into a really good little routine and H is almost sleeping all night these days. He is the sweetest baby. He smiles all the time. He never cries unless he's hungry... but when he's hungry, you better be ready right that minute or its going to be ugly. He hates his carseat. He loves his lamb swing. He's a morning guy like his mommy. He LOVES his brother, even though he can be pretty rough. He loves to be cuddled. He falls asleep during his bath some nights when he's extra tired. He giggles at his daddy. He loves to have his head scratched and his butt patted. He's the happiest baby and he's the perfect addition to our little world. God made him just for us and he fits like a puzzle piece that has been missing all these years.

I'm not sure if our puzzle is complete now or not. God will let us know eventually one way or the other.But for now, I am soaking up every single second I get being a mommy to the two sweetest boys in the world and praying that God will make time slow down so that I can hold them a little longer.

Breakfast and Birthdays

"Jack, how old did you turn on your birthday?"

Jack- "Breakfast."


Yes. Very matter-of-factly my son happily tells anyone who is interested in his recent birthday that he turned "breakfast". We don't really know why. But its cute, so we go with it. :)

He knows that he's three years old now and will tell you as long as you don't ask. If you ask, it's "breakfast".

That's just an example of the incredibly lovable personality of my now three-year-old boy.

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When I was pregnant with Jack I prayed for many things for him. One of those things was for him to have a big personality like his daddy. Growing up, I was always shy. And looking back as an adult, I feel like being shy is hard on a kid. People are drawn to outgoing personalities like that of my husband. So I prayed that God would bless Jack with Josh's extroverted personality. And I believe its safe to say that he did.

Our boy never meets a stranger. He waves and says hello to every stranger we pass in the grocery store. He tries to pick up other people's babies. He sings aloud to his preschool class as they all go to sleep on their cots.

Last night Josh and I were standing in the driveway talking to a neighbor when Jack runs out with no clothes on and announces that he's going to take a bath with the new bath toys that our friend/neighbor had brought him for his birthday.

Prayers answered. He's not shy at all.

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So for Jack's third birthday we decided on a Toy Story birthday party theme. Not because he watches toy story. If you know this kid at all, you know that he doesn't watch TV. Nope. He's WAYYY too busy to be slowed down by cartoons. And if he ever does watch TV, for about 5 seconds, he wants to watch Golf. Seriously.

Anyway, we chose Toy Story because he has a Toy Story book that is 100% in Spanish- mom's mistake-that he loves because it makes lots of sound effects and we just have to make up the story as we go because we don't read Spanish.

Jack loved his party and thinks that he should get to open presents every day of his life now. Although, most toys go unnoticed next to toothbrushes. We know. Its weird. Our toddler is OBSESSED with toothbrushes. He calls them his TT's and he washes them in the bathtub at least one time everyday. Its really the only time he "plays" by himself so I appreciate the quiet while it lasts. And it lasts a good 20 minutes considering that he has over 100 toothbrushes he has to go through each time. :)

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Some other things of note about our boy right now...

-His favorite past time is to "sassle" (wrestle) with his Daddy. I used to be so worried about him being too physically active but as of late I have learned to embrace it and be thankful that he is healthy enough to jump on the bed and get thrown around by his dad. They're making sweet memories that I'm sure he'll treasure until he becomes a dad himself one day.

-We are signing him up for rag ball! Eek! I'm super excited and nervous about this one. We were told that Jack probably wouldn't have the physical stamina to play any sports but he is SO active and healthy so we are going for it. He will wear protective gear and let's be honest, probably just stand there and not really know what to do most of the time anyway. :) But it will be SO cute to watch him in his little ball uniform!

-Jack is still doing GREAT in school! He has learned SO much and loves his teachers and friends. He never complains about going and hasn't cried about being there all year. It's been such a blessing to know he's in such wonderful care and that he's learning and growing all the time. Plus, he's not been sick all year. He keeps a runny nose but nothing doctor-visit worthy. What a blessing!

-We have Jack's three year check up coming up with Dr. Farr and then his six month check up with cardio in a couple of months.

Life continues to fly by as we do our best to soak up the sweet age he is at right now. He is the funniest, silliest boy I have ever met and I must admit that I'm quite smitten with every little thing he does. Like most gushy moms, I wish I could freeze time and keep him small forever BUT since time won't stop, I'm just thankful for everyday that he grows. What a miracle he is.

"And the child continued to grow and to become strong in spirit" Luke 1:80

We Moved... Websites, Not Houses.

Hey y'all! It's been a while.

Right before Jack went into the hospital for his Glen surgery, we moved my blog to his personal website www.prayersforbabyjack.com BUT since our little warrior has been doing SO well for the past two and a half years now, we decided it was time to move on. We officially shut down www.prayersforbabyjack.com a few months ago and I'm just now getting around to getting FacingGoliath back up and going. Life is BUSY y'all! BUT... I am finally getting to the slower part of my year (i.e. not football or basketball season) and I am ready to get back to my regular updates. So... here we are. I tried to let all of myfollowers know I was moving away from www.prayersforbabyjack.com before we shut it down so hopefully everyone will find their way back to my blog's original home here at FacingGoliath. I promise to try to update as often as possible, BUT if you know me and know how busy I am, I'm sure you'll understand if my posts are few and far between.

Let me know what you think about my new FacingGoliath template. I tried to get the heading photo centered but I struggled and then gave up. lol- If you have any tips on that, please help me out. :)

I chose the header photo here of me and my two guys this past summer at Panama City Beach because it just cracks me up. Let's face it, life isn't perfect but this picture is a perfect example of my little family. We're silly. We laugh and play and make messes. We never slow down and are rarely at home together so we consider every minute we have as a family to be a treasure and we definitely soak it up. We're just taking life a day at a time. We try to appreciate the little things and celebrate the big things.

And speaking of BIG things... Jack just turned THREE! More on that to come...

Welcome back friends! :)

Time Marches On: Two Months Post-Op

It's been a while since my last post and I know you're all probably wondering where we've been and how Jack's doing at home. In our case... No news is definitely good news. We've had a really calm few weeks. I can't even believe that in three days it will be two months since surgery. Time marches on. 


Jack has finally reached the point of full recovery. His scar healed up so much better than I could have imagined. I really love it. Its his badge of war and he will wear it proudly. On June 21, we had a visit to clinic and Jack's cardiologist told us that we could come off of oxygen. He had us continue to monitor Jack's sats from home and he did great. Sats didn't change at all. That was a BIG day for us. We celebrated with quite a few tears...mostly mine. At the six week mark we started being able to pick him up under his arms again which was kind of the last milestone we were trying to reach. We were extra cautious at first but now he's back to being thrown into the air like every other little boy. It makes him giggle which makes my heart smile. He's back up to six ounces of breast milk. He's actually eating so much that I can hardly keep up. But this heart mommy knows that this is not a bad problem to have. He is all smiles and giggles these days. He loves his feet so much and he can almost sit up by himself. He reaches for everything and chews on anything he can get into his little mouth. His two teeth are adorable and he drools and chews enough to make me believe that we might see a few more teeth pretty soon. He has absolutely no developmental delays. For the most part, he's just normal perfect. 




We went to clinic yesterday where Jack had an ECHO and then we talked with his cardiologist. He told us that Jack's heart looks "pristine" which was beyond amazing to hear. He told us that right now we are going to focus on getting Jack off of two of his meds. We will be going down on his doses each week and we'll continue to monitor his saturations with the pulse ox we have here at home. We don't go back to clinic for TWO WHOLE MONTHS which will be by far the longest we've been without a visit to UAB or an ECHO. We could not have had a better report and we are SO thankful that God has seen fit to provide complete healing for our sweet boy. 

We will visit Jack's pediatrician this coming Tuesday for his six month check up and shots. We will also be working with him on getting Jack started on cereal and baby food soon. He wanted us to wait on this step with Jack because he needed as much BM as possible right now because his immune system took a major hit when he got sick in the hospital and then had to be on so many antibiotics. I've been having a really hard time keeping up with him lately though and have had to borrow from my frozen supply. Thank goodness I saved up a stock pile a while back when he wasn't taking as much as I was producing. I am running out now though and we need to start talking about adding in some cereal and then baby food so that he won't need as much BM. Formula is still not an option for me and I truly hope we never have to do formula. I have absolutely nothing against formula. Its just that we tried adding some formula to his bottles a few weeks ago when our supply and demand problem began and it made him very sick. It was awful and I don't want to have to do that again. Plus I know that with him having a less-than-perfect immune system, its just better for him to continue to get all of the nutrients and vitamins that he gets from BM. Please pray for him though as we begin to attempt this transition because we have tried a bit of cereal a few times and it made him sick. I know it takes some getting used to with all babies and I'm sure we'll get there eventually. 


Two days ago we celebrated Jack's six month birthday. I can NOT believe that six months has already passed since the day that I held my sweet boy for the first time. This past six months have been the most amazing and most challenging months of my life. I have learned more about myself, my marriage, my family, my community, and my God than I have in my entire life. And let me tell you friends, they are all GOOD. There were moments during each different hospital stay, from the time spent in the RNICU when Jack was born to the time spent in the CICU after surgery where I felt like time was standing still. I longed for the day when I could look over at my son and know that surgery was passed and he was ok. To see him playing and laughing. To not look at him in fear of what was ahead. I told my sister today that for Jack's whole short little life so far, there hasn't been a day that has passed that I didn't carry the weight of the fear of losing him to this disease. My fear was crippling and overwhelming. But today I can truly say that I am not afraid. We are finally passed the hardest step. Yes, Jack still has one more surgery to go and I know that it will be every bit as difficult for us to face when the time comes. But I am choosing not to focus on that right now. I am going to live in this moment and celebrate what God has done, knowing that He will certainly do it again next time around. Because I know in my heart that God's plan for Jack goes far beyond a few short months or years. His plan for Jack is bigger than defeating heart disease, and I have vowed to do my part to raise him to be the extraordinary person that he was created to be so that God can continue to use his life in an extraordinary way for many, many wonderful years to come.


  I'm so thankful for every single prayer that has been laid before the feet of our almighty God on behalf of my precious son and my little family. My heart is overwhelmed at the amount of grace that has been poured out over my life and the lives of my husband and son. God is so merciful and so good. His love is overwhelming and unfathomable. I pray that He receives every ounce of glory that comes from our story. And when you say your prayers tonight, you thank him for us too. Thank him for saving our boy. Thank him for saving us all. 

 ^"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20