So here we are. At the beginning of a new year and the road ahead is going to be a little different this time around. Two big things are coming up for me and my family this year...
So first of all...
I officially resigned as the varsity cheer coach at Curry. At the end of this school year I will be passing the torch along to someone else. I was going to wait until we got back from Disney and our official cheer year ended to share the news but word has gotten out and several people have already asked me about it and I wanted to make sure that I got the opportunity to explain my decision before the unavoidable speculation began. This decision came after much prayer and serious consideration but it came down to the overwhelming time commitment and with Jack's surgery coming up and Harrison growing like a weed before our very eyes, the timing is right and God has granted me and Josh the peace we prayed for concerning this major life changing decision. I will continue teaching science at CHS and doing all of the other stuff I do and I will help the new cheer coach in any way that I can.
Over the past 3 years I have had the blessed opportunity to watch a group of beautiful and talented girls grow into strong and independent young ladies and I have no doubt that they are going to take the world by storm wherever the Lord leads them. They have filled my life with so much laughter and joy over the past 3 years. Together we have made memories that will live on for years to come. I can only hope that they know how much they mean to me and the impact that they have had on my life. God placed me in this position for a reason and I pray that I did what He called me to do, which was so much more than just winning titles.
I'm thankful for all of the love and support that I have been shown over the past 3 years as I learned how to navigate this truly difficult job. Cheer is so much more than most people could ever even begin to imagine. And I undeniably loved almost every minute of it! Through all of the teenage drama, endless ballgames, injuries and sicknesses, victories and defeats, one thing never changed... we were a team and we were in it together.
To the girls and their parents, my co-workers and administration, the students of CHS, the community of Curry, UCA and Varsity-- Thank you. This has been an incredible journey for which I will always be thankful. I will never forget this time period in my life and I am forever grateful for all of those who supported, loved, and encouraged me along the way.
We're going to end our time together in style.. At the UCA National High School Cheerleading Championship in Disney World. We leave 3 weeks from today. And I have no doubt that my girls are going to give the world one last big reminder of who they are and what they can do. I can't wait to watch them take those mats. They've worked all year for this one moment and they are going to be amazing, I have no doubt. And I'm thankful that I get that one last opportunity to spend time with them in the happiest place on earth.
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Then, of course... There is the cath.
33 days. We have 33 days until we have to hand our boy over for the first step of a two-step process. On February 17th Jack will undergo his third heart cath. They will put him to sleep and then go in through the groin and up into his heart to look around and decide for sure the path that they need to take for his upcoming surgery.
33 days feels like an eternity. 33 days to live every waking second with only one real thought in my head- my baby on that table. Its just shy of too much to handle.
Over the next 33 days we will work our way through the explanation and preparation process. We want Jack to understand as much as his sweet little 4 year old mind can understand about what is going on and why this is happening to him. We want him to feel ready, strong, and brave. We are praying that God will equip him with all of those things and more when the time comes. Our faith is strong and we are ready to face it. As ready as we will ever be.
If all goes according to plan, and that is a big IF because it did not go as planned for us last time, then we will be scheduling surgery for right after I get out of school so that I can have the entire summer to be home with him for recovery.
We are praying for a completely and totally different experience this time around. Anyone who kept up with our story last time knows that Jack had a very difficult time with his Glenn surgery. He didn't respond as most kids do to the new blood flow and his sats stayed dangerously low for nearly a month. We watched our son grow sicker and weaker for almost a month in the CICU until God gave us the miracle that we had been waiting for. And as they say, the rest is history. It is, however, a history that our hearts will never forget. And this is one of the most compelling causes for our deep seated anxiety as we move into round 2.
That being said, let me be clear about one thing. I KNOW the God that we serve is bigger than CHD. My fears are human fears. I'm a mom. My world revolves around my boys. BUT my faith is in the Lord and I know that He will provide. He has constantly been pouring His grace over me and my family as we have walked through this journey and I know that these coming months He will continue to do so.
This time we are facing a completely different situation. Our son is not a baby anymore. He's a little boy. Full of fire and life. He is, I'm quite certain, the smartest 4 year old on the planet. He doesn't miss a thing. And he will be completely aware of all that is happening to him this time. Only, he's not old enough to understand why. Actually, I still don't understand why. I know that God has a why and He will tell me someday but for now we just have to keep on trusting in Him and His plan for our earthly future. And at the end of the day, no matter the struggles and no matter the pain, our God will provide.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4: 6-7
At the end of this year my family and I are going to go to Disney World. It will be Jack's third trip and Harrison's first. We, of course, can't wait. We love Disney. Like, a lot. And when we get there I can't wait to look back on this year and know that all of it is over. The cath, the surgery, the fear, the struggle. It will be over. And we're going to celebrate with Mickey and some magic. As for what happens after that... that will just be for God to decide. And He has taken good care of us so far so I feel pretty good about Him being in the driver's seat.
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